This morning I woke up thinking about why worry is useless and counterproductive. You see, right now we are riding the rollercoaster of arranging end-of-life care for not one but two parents. And yet, I’m not worried. In the past I worried a lot. When I realized what a huge toll this was taking on my health and well-being I took steps to discard the habit of worrying. As a recovered worrier, I know that worrying is often our natural instinct whenever we are facing big, hairy challenges. But there’s a better way to manage challenges, and this one will actually work.

Anytime we fall prey to fear and worry we give up our power to handle our challenges effectively.

Why? Well, anytime we worry or feel afraid our lizard brain kicks into gear. It wants the best for us, of course, but it always advises the same thing: run away and hide so you stay safe. Once the lizard brain takes over we can no longer access our higher thinking.

• It’s impossible to worry and think creatively at the same time.

• Worrying cuts off our ability to come up with the solutions.

• While worry may feel natural, it prevents us from actually fixing anything.

• Worrying also feels terrible and takes a toll on our well-being.

Of course we can come up with all sorts of reasons to justify our worry.

• We might feel victimized or helpless.

• We might feel stressed out, freaked out, and overwhelmed.

• All of these feelings are understandable, but they keep us stuck.

What to do when you feel worried.

So, what’s a worried person to do?

First order of business: Calm down. I know that may sound easier said than done. But you won’t be able to fix or solve anything until you are calm.

We are our most powerful and effective when we are calm, centered, and grounded.

• Creative thinking only occurs when our brains are relaxed.

• We want to make good decisions, so we need to return to a relaxed state to do so.

• Our first go-to support is always the breath. Whenever we feel anxious our breathing becomes tight and shallow, which makes us feel even more anxious.

Step 1: Close your eyes.

Step 2: Slow down and lengthen  your breath.

Step 3: Listen to the sound of your breath moving in and out of your body.

It’s a calming sound, isn’t it?

Slow, deep breathing supports us in many different ways.

• Slowing and lengthening your breathing also sends a calming message to your nervous system.

• Deeper breathing brings more oxygen to your body, which improves clarity and focus.

• Slows your heartbeat and stabilizes your blood pressure.

• Listening to the sound of your breath is calming and comforting.

• Closing your eyes turns off your vision. Turning down sensory stimulation calms the nervous system.

Back when we were babies in the womb the sound of our mother’s breath was one of the first sounds we heard.

That sound was steady, consistent, and ever-present during a time when we were warm, cozy, safe, and held. By tuning into the sound of our own deep breathing we can access those feelings of peace and safety.

Once we feel calm we have reclaimed our strength. We can rise to being our most powerful.

• We can relax and access our Higher Self, and higher thought.

• We can tune into our inner guidance, that small, steady, certain voice that lives within.

• We can ask ourselves the right questions in order to access the best answers.

Questions that guide us to the right answers focus on solving the issue.

Examples of solutions-based questions:

• What is my vision for the highest and best outcome for this situation?

• What is my role?

• Do I need support ?Where can I get it?

• What are my next steps?

And the solutions will come. Our Higher Self is abundantly creative. We will know what to do next, where to get help, or what we need most.

Your peace is your power and the foundation of your strength.

Whenever you feel yourself starting to run off the rails, close your eyes and tune into the breath. Your relaxed mind is powerful.

You’ve got this.

Ready for the Next Step?

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